When the story about Michael Richards shouting racist remarks to audience members broke, something seemed strange about it. So, I surfed and watched a video of the outburst. When I saw the video, I immediately thought of Andy Kaufmann and some of the rants he did, and it was like Michael was "channeling" Andy. He was doing this at a time when Season Seven of Seinfeld was coming out (a year since the last volume came out, the longest time since they started releasing the show on DVD). He was doing this at a time when Celebrity rants and biases were a regular topic with tabloid shows. And afterwards, he appeared on David Letterman, the same guy who gave Kaufmann air time for some of his 'shenanigans'. I couldn't tell for sure, of course, but I certainly suspected that he could have been pulling a Kaufmann.
Since then, he's done nothing but made appropriate apologies. Some people might not call them enough, but I think that's over-reacting, like a lot of people have done about this. By appropriate, I mean that they are level headed and at least seemingly (if not outright) genuine. That's not very Kaufmannesque. Kaufmann would have started an apology, but done it in such a way to egg things on even further. Richards did not. For all I know, he may have started to pull a Kaufmann, didn't like the way it was going, and backed out.
While it may (or may not) make for an interesting theory, but odds are, he probably just lost it. If I had so many idiots and wags (people who are obsessed with celebrities, but don't have any talent to get even close to getting on TV themselves) calling me a 'washup' and a 'loser' simply because I haven't been on a hit show since something like Seinfeld, I may very well have lost it too. I just hope he can find his peace.
Speaking of being fooled, it seems like it's harder to tell nowadays. With the prevailing belief that 'there is no such thing as bad publicity', who knows how many celebrity 'goofs' are simply a way to keep their name in print (like paparazzi somehow getting 'compromising' pictures of a celebrity, when you know the celebrity KNOWS that the paparazzi are there)?
I've been fooled before. Back when we sent armed troops into Somalia to keep the peace, the media was already there. Ahead of the main body of our force, the Navy sent in some advance Seal teams. I watched on TV as news crews were on the beach, in the middle of the night, cameras and lights at the ready. When a seal team landed in their rubber boat, they were immediately surrounded by bright lights and jabbering reporters. Instead of taking out the lights and getting away from them, they just stood there, slowly looking around the area. I was confused. With those bright lights, there was no way they were able to see anything, so why just stand there? It bugged me for some time, until it dawned on me. They were decoys, DUH! They were the first on the beach, landed right where the reporters were waiting, and drew everyone's attention. They probably landed the real advance teams a mile up the beach. Heck, they could have landed a company of Marines on that beach behind the reporters, and they would never have noticed.
---jps
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Sunday, December 17, 2006
Conspiracies
What is it with some of the conspiracies people come up with? Recently, the news has been talking about some reports on the accident that killed Princess Diana, and some of the consipiracies that surrounded her death. Someone actually felt the need to do DNA tests to prove that the blood which tested positive for alcohol was actually from the driver. They look at the brief, grainy, pixelated picture of their driver in security videos, and think that they can tell without a doubt that he's sober. The supposed conspiracy theory is that the driver was perfectly sober, and that someone intentionally caused them to crash. Some people think Dodi Al-Fayad was the target, while some think that Diana was the target. As to who are the secret organizations that killed them and why is too numerous to mention.
It's like some people see too many movies and TV shows, get too involved with them, and begin to see conspiracy in everything. Sure, there are some people in the world who would have no problem doing evil to someone else. Most are rather blunt (i.e. Gang drive-bys), and only a few have the ability to be subtle and discreet. And even those who are discreet have a hard time getting authorities to think a murder was an accident, especially in such a high-profile case, especially with forensics available to us nowadays. That doesn't meant that someone won't slip one passed us, but those are the exceptions to the rule. Things don't just easily fall into place like they do in the movies, this is real life. And that's why alot of criminals get caught.
Look at it this way. All Diana conspiracies that are even slightly based in reality say that some professional group intentionally crashed the car to kill one or more of the occupants. For this to work, it would have to have a very good chance of being successful in killing the target (nothing's ironclad, but you have to have very good odds). Causing a new Mercedes to crash in the city does NOT have a good chance of killing the occupants, needless to say a very very good chance. It happens from time to time, unfortunately, but it's quite rare. Even if you are sure that you can get the driver of this car to go 60-80 MPH in town by simply chasing him with motorcycles, you can't be sure that Diana won't be wearing her seatbelt. It's very difficult to force a big sedan to crash with motorcycles (especially doing it accurately enough so that they hit the pillar just right the first try), but even if you could, you can't be reasonably sure that you won't leave a witness behind who could point out that the car was forced off of the road. Which brings us to the fact that this will have to look like an ironclad accident, because there are numerous conspiracy theorists out there who will look very closely at something like this. Any single failure in this plan, and not only do you fail, but your conspiracy runs the very real risk of being. People who are accomplished in such black operations do not take gambles on iffy plans like that. That's like an accountant who invests your retirement funds in lottery tickets.
Diana's death was an unfortunate culmination of mistakes, errors, and policies that needed improving. The driver shouldn't have been drunk. She should have been wearing a seatbelt. And they should have gotten her to a hospital instead of trying to determine how to care for her in the field.
And to those who feel that others planned to kill Diana: Why wouldn't they have done that when she was in a third world countries with her charities, where there is an abundance of violence to mask you, a relative lack of medical assistance, and an easy escape? She was touring old minefields, what other opportunity would you need?
---jps
It's like some people see too many movies and TV shows, get too involved with them, and begin to see conspiracy in everything. Sure, there are some people in the world who would have no problem doing evil to someone else. Most are rather blunt (i.e. Gang drive-bys), and only a few have the ability to be subtle and discreet. And even those who are discreet have a hard time getting authorities to think a murder was an accident, especially in such a high-profile case, especially with forensics available to us nowadays. That doesn't meant that someone won't slip one passed us, but those are the exceptions to the rule. Things don't just easily fall into place like they do in the movies, this is real life. And that's why alot of criminals get caught.
Look at it this way. All Diana conspiracies that are even slightly based in reality say that some professional group intentionally crashed the car to kill one or more of the occupants. For this to work, it would have to have a very good chance of being successful in killing the target (nothing's ironclad, but you have to have very good odds). Causing a new Mercedes to crash in the city does NOT have a good chance of killing the occupants, needless to say a very very good chance. It happens from time to time, unfortunately, but it's quite rare. Even if you are sure that you can get the driver of this car to go 60-80 MPH in town by simply chasing him with motorcycles, you can't be sure that Diana won't be wearing her seatbelt. It's very difficult to force a big sedan to crash with motorcycles (especially doing it accurately enough so that they hit the pillar just right the first try), but even if you could, you can't be reasonably sure that you won't leave a witness behind who could point out that the car was forced off of the road. Which brings us to the fact that this will have to look like an ironclad accident, because there are numerous conspiracy theorists out there who will look very closely at something like this. Any single failure in this plan, and not only do you fail, but your conspiracy runs the very real risk of being. People who are accomplished in such black operations do not take gambles on iffy plans like that. That's like an accountant who invests your retirement funds in lottery tickets.
Diana's death was an unfortunate culmination of mistakes, errors, and policies that needed improving. The driver shouldn't have been drunk. She should have been wearing a seatbelt. And they should have gotten her to a hospital instead of trying to determine how to care for her in the field.
And to those who feel that others planned to kill Diana: Why wouldn't they have done that when she was in a third world countries with her charities, where there is an abundance of violence to mask you, a relative lack of medical assistance, and an easy escape? She was touring old minefields, what other opportunity would you need?
---jps
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Celebrities
When the Kid Rock and Pamela Anderson divorce thing came out, CNN reported that Kid Rock blew up at Pamela Anderson about her appearance in the Borat movie. He supposedly yelled at her for exposing her private life and causing herself embarassment, and something about whether or not she had any self-respect. Whether any of that is true or not, I don't know. But when I read that, I thought: This is a woman who among other things, posed nude numerous times for Playboy, made a sex tape with one man, and after that became VERY public, made another sex tape with a different man. What the heck did Kid Rock expect?
Speaking of Playboy bunnies, my life is such right now that I watch ALOT of TV, and I decided to check out a few episodes of "The Girls Next Door" on E!, which is a reality show about Hef's three current girlfriends. One episode had Hef and the girls doing a press tour in New York, publicizing an issue of Playboy that had a spread (insert Beavis and Butthead laugh here) of all three girlfriends in it. They went through a long, grueling set of interviews, and in the limo afterwards, the girls complained about the fact that everyone asked about the sexual relations between Hef and the girls. Now, even if you are running around the country publicizing your naked pictures and the fact that you are Hef's girlfriends, that doesn't mean that people have a right to know your personal business. But, not only should you not be surprised and upset that people are asking about your sex life, you should expect it. You're the ones who are "putting it out there".
In another episode, they were in London, and while being driven around to sight-seeing places (in a private bus with a private tour guide), the youngest girlfriend asked where the Queen was, and why the Queen wouldn't want to just drop her public commitments on a moments notice to meet a man as great as Hef. She kept pushing the point, and pushing the point, and the tour guide showed impressive restraint (or else the producers edited it out) in not telling her that the queen isn't going to simply bail on her countrymen to meet someone she may very well consider to be nothing more than a dirty old man. A little later, they were in the London Dungeons, wandered away from the tour, and got lost. They were literally walking around in circles, trying to find their way out, when the girls started saying "Hello Cleveland!". I had to back the Tivo up to make sure that I heard correctly. Here were three girls who really hadn't come off as the brightest or wittiest people, making an obscure yet funny reference to "Spinal Tap".
Peter Boyle passed away today (12/13/06). I have nothing to make fun of him, because as far as I know, he never went "commando" in front of paparazzi while clubbing with Paris Hilton, or made a sex tape, or had three girlfriends at once, or drove the wrong way down the freeway while on drugs. We are all human, and with the unrelenting coverage that some of these celebrities get nowadays, any little misstep is highly publicized and overblown. I mean, when someone films Paris Hilton going into a fast-food restaurant, and one of those dumb tabloid shows airs it, it has gotten ridiculous. I'd hate to think what mistakes I've done over the years that would have been publicized if I had such a following. But then again, I have yet to drive down the wrong way on a freeway. And while I don't think as many people would have googled pictures of Peter Boyle going commando, he seemed to make it through a much much longer career without doing anything that stupid.
---jps
Speaking of Playboy bunnies, my life is such right now that I watch ALOT of TV, and I decided to check out a few episodes of "The Girls Next Door" on E!, which is a reality show about Hef's three current girlfriends. One episode had Hef and the girls doing a press tour in New York, publicizing an issue of Playboy that had a spread (insert Beavis and Butthead laugh here) of all three girlfriends in it. They went through a long, grueling set of interviews, and in the limo afterwards, the girls complained about the fact that everyone asked about the sexual relations between Hef and the girls. Now, even if you are running around the country publicizing your naked pictures and the fact that you are Hef's girlfriends, that doesn't mean that people have a right to know your personal business. But, not only should you not be surprised and upset that people are asking about your sex life, you should expect it. You're the ones who are "putting it out there".
In another episode, they were in London, and while being driven around to sight-seeing places (in a private bus with a private tour guide), the youngest girlfriend asked where the Queen was, and why the Queen wouldn't want to just drop her public commitments on a moments notice to meet a man as great as Hef. She kept pushing the point, and pushing the point, and the tour guide showed impressive restraint (or else the producers edited it out) in not telling her that the queen isn't going to simply bail on her countrymen to meet someone she may very well consider to be nothing more than a dirty old man. A little later, they were in the London Dungeons, wandered away from the tour, and got lost. They were literally walking around in circles, trying to find their way out, when the girls started saying "Hello Cleveland!". I had to back the Tivo up to make sure that I heard correctly. Here were three girls who really hadn't come off as the brightest or wittiest people, making an obscure yet funny reference to "Spinal Tap".
Peter Boyle passed away today (12/13/06). I have nothing to make fun of him, because as far as I know, he never went "commando" in front of paparazzi while clubbing with Paris Hilton, or made a sex tape, or had three girlfriends at once, or drove the wrong way down the freeway while on drugs. We are all human, and with the unrelenting coverage that some of these celebrities get nowadays, any little misstep is highly publicized and overblown. I mean, when someone films Paris Hilton going into a fast-food restaurant, and one of those dumb tabloid shows airs it, it has gotten ridiculous. I'd hate to think what mistakes I've done over the years that would have been publicized if I had such a following. But then again, I have yet to drive down the wrong way on a freeway. And while I don't think as many people would have googled pictures of Peter Boyle going commando, he seemed to make it through a much much longer career without doing anything that stupid.
---jps
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Oldest Woman Passes
Elizabeth Bolden, recognized by Guiness (and others) as the oldest person alive, passed away on Monday, Dec. 12, 2006. She was born August 15, 1890, which made her 116 years old. According to her family members, she had:
Is there another term for great-great-great grandchildren? I mean, instead of saying "a thousand-thousand-thousand bytes", we say "gigabyte". So how come there isn't something like a "giga-grandchild"? "Kilo-grandchild" and "tera-grandchild" sounds like just a couple of more mindless homicidal video games, and "mega-grandchild" sounds like something that teamed up with Mothra to fight Godzilla, so we might have to work on the wording a little.
Since I read about this lady, I've been thinking about all that has happened during her lifetime. When she was born, Civil War vets were younger than Vietnam vets are now, "horseless carriages" were the focus of hobbyists and inventors, balloons were the only things that men flew in, the phonograph and electric light were novelties, and the last free Indian tribes were being moved into reservations. And I've been calculating her age when certain recent historic (trivial and non-trivial) events come up. For example, she was:
Speaking of improving nutrition and quality of life, I was watching an episode of "Battlefield Detectives" on Custer's last stand recently. One thing they pointed out was how the US Cavalry men were undernourished and in bad physical shape. Inspecting their skeletal remains, they were able to determine that these men in their early 20s had rotting teeth, arthritis, and their backs were in horrible condition from all of the horse riding. That was one harsh life. But that's how things were for a Cavalry soldier around the time Elizabeth Bolden was born.
---jps
- 40 grandchildren
- 75 great-grandchildren
- 150 great-great-grandchildren
- 220 great-great-great grandchildren
- 75 great-great-great-great grandchildren
Is there another term for great-great-great grandchildren? I mean, instead of saying "a thousand-thousand-thousand bytes", we say "gigabyte". So how come there isn't something like a "giga-grandchild"? "Kilo-grandchild" and "tera-grandchild" sounds like just a couple of more mindless homicidal video games, and "mega-grandchild" sounds like something that teamed up with Mothra to fight Godzilla, so we might have to work on the wording a little.
Since I read about this lady, I've been thinking about all that has happened during her lifetime. When she was born, Civil War vets were younger than Vietnam vets are now, "horseless carriages" were the focus of hobbyists and inventors, balloons were the only things that men flew in, the phonograph and electric light were novelties, and the last free Indian tribes were being moved into reservations. And I've been calculating her age when certain recent historic (trivial and non-trivial) events come up. For example, she was:
- 13 when the Wright brothers first flew,
- 23 when Archduke Ferdinand was assassinated,
- 39 when the stock market crashed,
- 51 when Pearl Harbor was attacked,
- 67 when Sputnik first flew,
- 75 when Charlie Brown's Christmas special first aired,
- 79 when Armstrong and Aldrin ventured out of the Eagle,
- 85 when SNL premiered,
- 94 when Miami Vice premiered,
- 100 a few days after Iraq invaded Kuwait, and
- 111 a few days before a plane crashed short of the Pentagon.
Speaking of improving nutrition and quality of life, I was watching an episode of "Battlefield Detectives" on Custer's last stand recently. One thing they pointed out was how the US Cavalry men were undernourished and in bad physical shape. Inspecting their skeletal remains, they were able to determine that these men in their early 20s had rotting teeth, arthritis, and their backs were in horrible condition from all of the horse riding. That was one harsh life. But that's how things were for a Cavalry soldier around the time Elizabeth Bolden was born.
---jps
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